Out Of The Dark

The other day I went out for a walk...it sounds pretty pedestrian (sorry), but it's actually the first time I've voluntarily gone outside for a few weeks. Sounds crazy, but I think I've had the depressive equivalent of walking pneumonia for a while...I'm getting to work, and getting things done, and putting out the various fires that my life's been starting, but I was doing only what I had to, and then I'd collapse on the couch with a beer and sort of shut down. It's not that there hasn't been enough stuff happening to make me sad (my aunt's death and the death of an old friend in the space of 10 days, among other things) or stressed, but my reactions have been pretty typical of the way my metabolism works when I'm having a serotonin imbalance. I've dealt with this enough to recognise the symptoms, but of course when you're INSIDE it, it can be hard to realize. Apparently it's starting to recede, thank God. I've been getting out and working on the lawn, going to the gym, doing fun stuff that I kind of forgot how to do temporarily. Depression is really irritating...it sneaks up on you and flattens you, and doesn't have any really good dramatic symptoms like having blood spurt from your eyeballs or something that would at least get you a little sympathy from your friends!! Ah well...I guess I'm just hoping that this upswing will continue, and to help that along I'm gonna get out of this office and go out into the beautiful fall day and take another walk. Sounds good right now.